Saturday, May 21, 2005

Your Fancy New Jets Stadium

People of New York. If you don't want to spend a BILLION dollars on a new stadium for the pathetic NY jets and their very rich owner, YOU will be responsible for us not getting the Olympics. Bad people! Bad.

"The U.S. Olympic Committee chairman warned the state's top lawmakers that New York will lose its chance to land the 2012 Summer Games if a plan for a Manhattan stadium is not approved, according to a letter released Friday."

You have been warned. How are we supposed to get all those steroid monsters to show up in our city and run really fast in circles if you don't want to pay higher taxes? For fucks sake, think of Mary Lou Retton!!! Wheaties!! Woody Johnson is a prominent conservative Republican who owns the Jets and like any good conservative Republican these days he is against steriod use (except for his Defensive Line, Linebackers, Special Teams, Wide Receivers, Running Backs, QB, O-line.....but not those whiny kickers) but he really wants a new stadium so we can showcase the amazing wonders of steriods to the world. So, shut up, pay your taxes. And you might want to consider taking some steroids because you will be a better worker, you will work harder, and you'll pay more taxes.

You've been warned (and advised).

PS. If paying higher taxes makes you depressed, take some Wellbutrin. Woody Johnson's company makes it and its really really good shit.